Patron: Do you have that Stephenie Meyer book, The Host?
Me: Yes. Let me see what the waiting list looks like right now.
Patron: Because she writes those Twilight books about dumb stuff like Vampires. But The Host is about ALIENS.
* * * *
From a phone conversation with an elderly woman:
Patron: Do you have any recommendations for something to read out loud at Thanksgiving?
Me: What kind of book were you thinking of?
Patron: I want something for my son to read at Thanksgiving. He's been ensnared by a young lady, so he's spending Thanksgiving with her in California, and I need a book they can read together so they'll be busy and won't have time to get intimate. I was thinking of [something I would never read], but it could be something else. But not something with romance in it. Nothing to give them ideas.
Me: How old is your son?
Patron: 22
Me (out loud): Okay, let me just put you on hold for a minute, so I can consult with my co-worker.
Me (in head): !?! Okay, let me just put you on hold for a minute, so I can cackle with my co-worker and ask her for help, because I can't seriously consider books for your request until I stop laughing and feeling sorry for your adult son.
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