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14 April 2015

This is What Easter Looked Like

It snowed on Easter, but we still used the flower-shaped gelatin mold, because we were full of hope that one day it would stop.  (I think it has now.)  This jellied thing, by the way, is a new addition to our Easter feast and it's the best thing we've discovered in years.  It's a savory mustard ring to eat with the ham.  Steve got the recipe from a friend who got it from her husband's grandmother and it is so unexpectedly good.

I colored eggs with the kids on Saturday.  It took approximately two minutes start to finish and two of the eight eggs were cracked before they made it to the refrigerator.  The Bairn got to wear his art smock (read: ugly old shirt of Steve's), though, and I introduced him to this little ditty: Don't knock my smock or I'll clean your clock.  It was the highlight of his day even though he didn't understand why the clocks needed to be cleaned.

We hid plastic Easter eggs on Sunday.  I only put raisins and peanuts and stickers in them, but The Bairn still went crazy.

He liked his bucket.

He wore it as a hat.

I made Easter bunny rolls for breakfast.  They were really huge and marked the beginning of my descent into a month of wearing fat pants.

Ellen wore these great leggings, which took my mind off the snow.

07 April 2015

Conversation with Ellen, Age 17 Months

We were standing next to a pan of brownies with a knife in them.  I had given her a taste but she wanted more.

Ellen:  Bitey!  Bitey!

Me: Oh no, that's it for tonight.

Ellen: Cut it.

Me: Cut the brownies?

Ellen: Sure.

31 March 2015

It's Just Like Baby Jessica in the Well. Without the Well.

Bad News: I locked Ellen AND the keys in the car today.

Good News: We have a spare key to the car.

Bad News: I didn't know where it was.

Good News: Steve knew where it was.

Bad News: Steve was two hours away in a barn when I called, so the call went right to voicemail.

Good News: We have a really good next door neighbor.

Bad News: There is no more bad news (except that it's still snowing), because our neighbor sent me back to our house with his friend who was visiting to stay with Ellen while he called around for tow trucks that had equipment to open our very, very secure Volvo (coat hanger did not do the trick) and then the tow truck guys came and rescued poor Ellen and then refused payment, which made me cry.

Good News:  Steve called me back just as the rescue team was opening our car door, so now I know where the spare key is too.  Whew.

28 March 2015

There's Still Four Feet of Snow on the Ground, So We Gotta Go Somewhere

I have discovered the joy of the fast food restaurant.  In an attempt to curb The Bairn's habit of throwing toys (but he never is throwing things, he assures me; he's tossing or flipping or exploding things), I bribed him with a trip to "King Burger," a magical place he spied from the road and did not realize had anything inside it other than a play structure.  We took the whole family there last night and it was like heaven.

For the low low price of a $1 fake ice cream, The Bairn climbed and climbed and climbed with the 6-year-old girl he met in one of the tunnels.  He told her he was 5-years-old, and she showed him how to get to the twisty slide.  She lives in Halifax, but she comes to this very burger joint every Friday because her dad lives here.  Every Friday, she reiterated and then she gave me her baby care credentials while she patted Ellen on the head.  Her name was Hayden, but The Bairn kept calling her Little Girl ("Hey, Little Girl, let's go down the slide!").  He's not great with names.  He calls Ellen Little Ding and Steve Wags, so, you know.

18 March 2015

Scenes from Our Marriage

Last night the kids stayed home with Steve while I visited the dentist.  Before I left, I gave Steve instructions about what to feed the kids, but when I came home, he greeted me at the door and said, "You said the kids could only eat apples right?"

MBC: What?!  No!  Apples won't fill them up.

Steve:  Oh, that must be why they're eating so many.  They've had, like, seven now.

Sure enough, Ellen was sitting at the kitchen table in front of an overflowing bowl of apple peels and cores.

*  *  *  *  *

Steve figured out how to get channels on our TV while I was gone, so we stayed up until midnight watching Married at First Sight, which is all the evidence necessary to demonstrate that it's best that we normally keep the TV down in the basement.  Unplugged.

The show was annoying in all the ways that American reality shows are annoying, but I was still totally absorbed and will be watching again next week.  Probably the best thing about watching a show about couples being matched up for marriage is that if you're already married, it's super extra easy to be smug while you watch it.  Just to be extra smug, Steve and I played this game during a commercial break.

Steve:  Mmmm, robots.

MBC:  Are you thinking about milking robots?  (He's working on a collapsed barn project right now.)

Steve:  Yeah.  How did you know that?

MBC:  Oh, I know you.

Steve:  Okay, but now what kind of robot am I thinking about?

MBC:  A robot that would play with my hair so that you wouldn't ever have to do it.

Steve:  Yeah.

It's like we're made for each other.  They didn't even try the Which Robot Are You Thinking About compatibility test on the show.  If any of those marriages fail, that will be why.

12 March 2015

Not the Cleaning Season

Yesterday I was cleaning the house, and I thought about getting out the glass cleaner to wipe off the fingerprints on our long window at the bottom of the stairs,


 this . . .

There's always a little girl at that window, waiting to greet us as we come in from the cold.

As soon as I clean, there's a new set of fingerprints, so we'll just leave it for now.

04 March 2015

Five Years

Is it too late to say that Steve and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary two weeks ago?  And Steve's dad came and babysat?  And we went to get the oil changed in the car because we are extra romantic?  Except then we went to Halifax to eat really, really good Vietnamese food and see a play (but first we stopped to check the price of 50 lb bags of oatmeal), so it was actually a very nice celebration.  I can't remember the last time I've been out so late, and I felt strange without being accessorized by babies.  Today when I went to the post office to pick up a package, The Bairn's lip trembled when I told him I was going without him, because he and Ellen and I like to do absolutely everything together, preferably with both of them clinging to me and pulling my hair the whole time, but Steve's Dad knows the trick of all the very best babysitters and he brought a whole stack of movies for The Bairn to watch, so I don't think I was missed at all that night.
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