25 May 2016


 The Bairn is really enamored with his brother.  Every day he asks me if he can have a baby visit.  Baby visits involve sitting next to his brother and requesting stories from the fascinating life of a newborn.  The Bairn is especially tickled if the baby asks him questions.  They also sometimes do exercises together.  The baby leads and The Bairn copies all the stretches and yawns and raised fists.

The Bairn is also enamored with my camera.  He usually gets his grubby paws on it every couple of days and takes close ups of our shoe rack or the piano, but yesterday he actually got this pretty fabulous photo of the newbie.

17 May 2016


My parents left yesterday.  Steve pulled out an extra good husband move by coming home early for lunch, bringing him back within 15 minutes of when my mom walked out the door, so that he would be there for my My Mom Is Gone breakdown.  He pulled a double good husband move by deciding we should have hamburgers from my favorite place in town for supper.

I have also been employing the following coping mechanisms:

-Allowing the children to watch Netflix until their brains melt

-Making House of Dittmer cookies and then eating too many

-Considering setting Ellen out on the curb with a 'FREE' sign around her neck, as she is also having a breakdown.  (Have decided to keep her as The Bairn is making up for her unpleasantness by being extra sweet and because her daddy wants to keep her.)

03 May 2016

Hey, Look, a Baby

I had a baby on Friday.  I woke Steve up at 3:00 am and made him go to the hospital even though my labor wasn't very advanced because I kept hearing terrifying stories about 3rd babies being born so quickly that they were practically delivered in the car.  We could have stayed home longer.

I did not like the doctor who delivered the baby, but the nurse was a childhood friend of Steve's who he had not seen in 30 years and she was amazing.  I imagine that having her for a nurse was like having a doula.  She gave great back rubs and murmured reassuring mantras and advocated for me with the doctor and other nurses to keep them from using interventions that I didn't want.

I stayed in the hospital overnight, but I should have taken the 2 night option that I was offered.  If there is a next time, future self take note: stay in the hospital with the pain killers and meals on order for one more day.

Steve's parents had already been staying with us for about a week, because I had several rounds of false labor and because the baby was 5 days overdue, when we went to the hospital.  My parents arrived in town about 6 hours after I gave birth.

Steve and my parents and my in-laws brought the kids to the hospital to meet their new brother.  The Bairn told the baby jokes and The Bairn and Ellen both made me toast in the family kitchen.

We brought the baby home Saturday afternoon and held a tiny birthday party for him on Sunday and have introduced him to the noisy life of a third child.  Today he was super fussy, so I put him in the sling for the first time and The Bairn asked, "Why did you put your baby back inside?"

07 April 2016

37 + 4

I started packing my hospital bag this week.  The teeny tiny newborn diapers (as usual) look impossibly small - like I'm expecting a squirrel to come live with us rather than a tiny human.  I glanced at an online packing list to see if there was anything important I was forgetting to include for my trip to the hospital, but then I remembered that those lists are created by people who do not appear to have actually given birth in a hospital before.  Has anyone ever actually needed a stopwatch or their own washcloths at a hospital birth?

The really important list, that I'm writing myself, is the Steve Instruction List for Labor and Delivery. It includes all of Steve's most important jobs during my labor, such as refraining from talking about ham radio and remembering not to say one single word about how tiring/difficult it is to watch someone give birth to a person who is actually delivering a human being into the world.

Yesterday The Bairn told me that he would like me to get "unfat" and let him see this baby.  We'd all like that, kid.

27 March 2016

Easter 2016

Happy Easter!

Friday we dyed Easter eggs.  This is the first year that this activity lasted longer than 5 minutes.  The following morning, Ellen chose one of her pink eggs to eat for breakfast and chomped straight into it, shell and all.

Yesterday we did Easter baskets after naps.  The Bairn is sporting some super post-nap hair here.  The kids only got one sweet treat in their baskets--a kinder egg for each of them--which they immediately devoured.

This was also the first year I attempted to recreate the bunny cakes we always had growing up.  I made mine with  a carrot cake, though, so the soft cream cheese icing didn't make for a very pretty bunny.  Also I couldn't find jelly beans at the grocery store (!?), so the eyes and nose are wrong, but we chomped that bunny right up.  Delicious.

Today we hunted for Easter eggs in the house and ate our Easter feast.  I pulled the china out and used candles, which is how we demonstrate to the kids that we are having a fancy time.

I threw them into bed almost immediately after supper, both because we ate a bit late and because Fancy Times send them over the edge.

25 March 2016

He's Available if You Want to Be Insulted

The spring ants have arrived.  The kids noticed them last night while they were eating their bedtime snack.  After trying to lure the ants to various locations with his spaghetti (the "snack" could also be called "this perfectly good food you didn't eat at supper"), The Bairn announced that the ants probably came inside because our kitchen is so dirty and full of crumbs.  Then he squeezed my arm and asked me why I'm so squishy.  He's really killing it with the compliments lately.

19 March 2016

Easter Egg Hunt (Or So They Say)

I took the kids to the town Easter egg hunt today.  The plastic eggs were in a roped off area of the park and each child was allowed to find five eggs of a certain color and then turn them in for a treat bag.  The eggs (hundreds of eggs) were just tossed on the ground in a wide open field.  The Bairn found all of his eggs within 30 seconds.  It took Ellen a full minute to find hers.  There were approximately one billion people there, because the hunt wasn't divided into age groups, so it was difficult to find parking and I had to pull a pie out of the oven early to get there on time.  It was pretty much the lamest thing ever, but The Bairn still gave it his full support and reported that it was the best.  He's very enthusiastic about life.
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