I Just Need to Visualize Myself Taking the Waters in Bath

I know change is a bad thing,
Breaks me down into a sorry, sad thing . . .
-Dar Williams, from "It's Alright"

I've been having just the tiniest nervous breakdown the last few days, as I've been transferring files to other librarians at work and scheduling my exit interview and thinking in my head, "I'll be flying to Milan that day," each time Tuey invites me to his birthday party in September (which he does whenever he sees me--he's having a unicorn cake and he's very excited about it).

I know all the reasons I decided to quit my job and go adventuring and I think they're sound. Among other things (including the fact that I l-l-love to travel!), I wanted to resist a certain inertia in my life and I didn't want to be the kind of person who had it within her power to do the things she dreamed about and then didn't do them. For the past six months, every time someone has asked me why I wanted to go to Europe for so long, I've been surprised that it's not completely self-evident. It's been a long time (relatively) since I've so completely uprooted myself and found myself in a situation with so many potential pathways that I feel overwhelmed, though, and I suddenly understand why they've been asking. It's a little bit frightening to throw myself into the unknown when I'm comfortable here.

I really hope that opening myself up to new opportunities is not the same as being reckless with my life. It's hard to tell today.