All the News That's Fit to Print

1. Mr. Steve has discovered Mr. Breakfast. He loves Mr. Breakfast. Sometimes I wake up at night and Steve's not in bed and I suspect that he's downstairs in the office on the computer finding new breakfast secrets (Mr. Breakfast HAS significantly improved our scrambled eggs) and whispering words of adoration. He's not. He's downstairs in the office trying to get some sleep because our neighbor (who Steve refers to exclusively as Jerkface) has become very noisy lately and when the police came over and chatted with me in my pajamas at 4:00 am Friday morning they recommended that we call in the Anti-Social Behavior Team.

2. Just a few hours before my chat with the police, my brother's wife had a baby. I like babies.

3. Steve and I went on a date to a mall. Because we're awesome. We were out of town and Steve asked his co-worker for a restaurant recommendation and she recommended a chain with an online menu that made me believe I should expect the walls to be covered in memorabilia and that a perky waitress would offer me an onion blossom. You know? So I had to object to that. But I agreed to the mall because I can get 83p quiche there from the fancy shop that sells (possibly) the only canned pumpkin in the UK. And it makes Steve happy because he can eat and then wander through Howard's Storage World (no word of a lie). But next time we eat out, I'm going to have to be the boss.