18 March 2015

Scenes from Our Marriage

Last night the kids stayed home with Steve while I visited the dentist.  Before I left, I gave Steve instructions about what to feed the kids, but when I came home, he greeted me at the door and said, "You said the kids could only eat apples right?"

MBC: What?!  No!  Apples won't fill them up.

Steve:  Oh, that must be why they're eating so many.  They've had, like, seven now.

Sure enough, Ellen was sitting at the kitchen table in front of an overflowing bowl of apple peels and cores.


*  *  *  *  *

Steve figured out how to get channels on our TV while I was gone, so we stayed up until midnight watching Married at First Sight, which is all the evidence necessary to demonstrate that it's best that we normally keep the TV down in the basement.  Unplugged.

The show was annoying in all the ways that American reality shows are annoying, but I was still totally absorbed and will be watching again next week.  Probably the best thing about watching a show about couples being matched up for marriage is that if you're already married, it's super extra easy to be smug while you watch it.  Just to be extra smug, Steve and I played this game during a commercial break.

Steve:  Mmmm, robots.

MBC:  Are you thinking about milking robots?  (He's working on a collapsed barn project right now.)

Steve:  Yeah.  How did you know that?

MBC:  Oh, I know you.

Steve:  Okay, but now what kind of robot am I thinking about?

MBC:  A robot that would play with my hair so that you wouldn't ever have to do it.

Steve:  Yeah.

It's like we're made for each other.  They didn't even try the Which Robot Are You Thinking About compatibility test on the show.  If any of those marriages fail, that will be why.

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