I just had someone AGAIN say something to me along the lines of, "It must be so nice to be a librarian. You get to read all those books." As if what I do all day at work is read, because I DON'T have 12 million projects like buying books and visiting schools and detention centers and speaking at conferences and planning events and creating advertising and running programs and teaching computer classes, which is what I DO do at work. This is a bad thing to say to a librarian. So are the following:
No. 1--"Why did you have to get a master's degree to be a librarian? What did you learn? The Dewey Decimal System?" This is always followed by a hardy chuckle, which causes one to want to slap the person speaking and remind him (it's always a him) that you are smarter than he is.
No. 2--"It must be so peaceful to be a librarian." Are you kidding me!? Have you been to a public library? Did I mention all the stuff I'm trying to get done while simultaneously listening to undermedicated patrons explain to me where the comet ending the earth is going to land and helping men who dress like vampires write letters to Mitt Romney? While children scream in the background?
No. 3--Anything that suggests I shelve books for a living. Pages shelve books (except, maybe, in very small libraries). Librarians buy books.
No. 4--"Do you have a copy of Eclipse? You don't? Really?" You are not the only person who uses the library. Try to remember this when you're asking for an insanely popular best seller two days after it's released.
No. 5--"Dan Brown. B-R-O-W-N." Yeah, I totally know who wrote The Da Vinci Code and how to spell his name and where the copies of the book are shelved if we have them checked in and all of the other books Dan Brown has written. Don't spell at librarians unless they ask you for that little service. They are always smarter than you think they are. Always.
So be kind to your librarians. Don't say things to them that will encourage them to develop their thunder vision and destroy you. And if you know in which very amusing memoir thunder vision is discussed, we might move your name up on the waiting list for Eclipse.
3 comments:
I would love to see you actually slap someone for asking you why you needed a Master's degree. I would probably pee my pants laughing. Don't worry though, you're not the only one who gets dumb questions about your job. People frequently ask me stupid questions about my job too like if it's really like, "CSI." Get your slapping hands ready!
I am glad you are on vacation. I think you needed it :) I also think that more people need to realize how much smarter you are than them!
Wow. It is like you are saying my words for me. People ask me All. The. Time if I get to read at my desk. Which, you know, maybe I would do if I weren't busy running this place. Also the Dewey Decimal System. And don't get me started on peaceful. That Lord of the Flies island has nothing on this place.
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