07 September 2007

When Librarians Go Bad

I just got a new assignment at work. In addition to buying the young adult fiction, young adult graphic novels, and the 800s (literature), I now buy the 600s. In theory, the 600s are Technology. To which I say, "Chah! Technology, my foot!"

Here are all the subjects housed in the 600s:
Inventions
Health/Medicine/Excercise
Emergency Preparedness
Cars/Airplanes/Other vehicles
Guns
Pets
Cleaning
Cookbooks/Cooking
Organization
Beauty
Dating/Relationships
Parenting
Business
Carpentry/Woodworking

So, you can see that there might be a problem here, because, except for the cookbooks, I don't care for most of the subjects in the 600s, and they might get neglected. I'm imagining that in a few years, reference interactions at our library might go something like this.

Some poor fool who wants a business book: Your business section looks a little sparse. In fact, the newest books in there are from 2007.

Librarian: Oh yes, that's when MBC took over the 600s. She doesn't believe in the corporate world.

Some poor fool: Well, does she believe in relationships, because that section looks bad too.

Librarian: Well, she believes in relationships, but not in relationship BOOKS. She once tried to read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, because she thought she ought to read it before mocking it, and several people told her it wasn't that bad. But it WAS that bad, and the terrible analogies so upset her that she tried to impale herself with the book to make the bad writing stop.

Some poor fool: Wouldn't it have been easier to just put the book down?

Librarian: Yes. Bad writing impairs judgment, though. She was under the influence of the book.

Some poor fool: And what about pets?

Librarian: Well, you can see that we have wonderful information on sheepdogs.

Some poor fool: But I have a dalmation.

Librarian: Well, that was just poor planning on your part, wasn't it? Why don't you read a nice food memoir? We have plenty of those.

Yep. It's sad days ahead for the businessmen in town. Oh, well.

4 comments:

Alice said...

It is about time they make you work! haha, just kidding. I think you should really take this as a complement and make the 600s the best section in the library. I know your creativity and it will help the 600s.

Alyssa said...

I can't tell you how much I love your blog. I've read every entry and couldn't get enough. I was constantly reading snippets from your blog out loud to Chris. I'm definitely going to keep visiting/commenting in the future.

So, I've been musing over possible blog titles for you. Here's a bunch I thought of. I'm making no claims to their greatness. Totally just freewriting here. You certainly don't have to like them---let alone use them, but they may spark your creativity:

* Notebookisms
* Conviviality
* Confessions of a Stargirl (was trying to come up with something related to your interest in YA Lit)
* Self Composing Blog no. 42
* P.S. I'm Awesome (because you are)
* Miles to Go Nothin', I'm Sleeping Right Now (it's fun to play off of famous quotes)
* The Chartreuse Expositor (I just kinda liked the sound of that one, you could also possibly substitute "Expositor" with "Scrivener")
* Antici.........pation
* something with the word "Moxie" in it
* The View from the Glass-Bottomed Boat (I just randomly thought of that)
* Maybe something pretentious written in a foreign tongue like "Leve fit quod bene fertur onus" (Latin for "That load becomes light which is cheerfully borne.")

Meh. Take 'em or leave 'em.

Anonymous said...

MBC, I think you should title your blog, "Nobody cares about your blog." (All the other blogs, that is) I think that's one of the funniest t-shirts ever. It's right up there with "The party is over." (Do you remember that shirt? Grace wears it as a nightshirt now)

Amy (I'm the only Amy you know, right?)

MBC said...

Excellent blog title suggestions! I'm still considering which one I like best. Please do visit and comment. I LOVE comments.

Amy--you're not the only Amy I know, but you're the only one with my blog address (I think) and you're definitely the only one who loves puns and has a Communist party pun t-shirt.

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