Beauty

My sister and I aren't terribly skilled in the cosmetic arts. Neither of us wear makeup on a regular basis and I didn't learn to use a curling iron until I was in college. I never paint my fingernails and when I tried to paint my own toenails last year, I failed miserably. I attempted the toenail painting right before going to a party and after my paint job turned out badly, I couldn't find polish remover so I spent all night saying, "Are you looking at my toes? Stop looking at my toes. I know I did a bad job. Stop looking at them!" (MBC, you ask, Why not just wear socks and shoes? I don't want to talk about it.)

Madames 3 and 4-yr-old wanted to paint their fingernails and toenails this week, though, so I hunted up my sister's fingernail polish. Bright red Wet 'n Wild purchased for 99 cents (it still had the tag) in about 1985. Good stuff. The Madames and I set up camp in the kitchen on some newspaper. They stuck out their tiny hands and toes, and I painted them very badly. The Madames are so small! I couldn't even see some of their toenails, so I just dabbed paint in the area where it seemed like a toenail should go. Fortunately, they have no sense of style, so they were very impressed with themselves and with me. Madame 4-yr-old told me, "I'm going to preschool tomorrow and I'm going to look so faaaancy." My sister instructed Madame 3-yr-old to wave her hands in the air to dry them. She did. Vigorously. And then she waved her feet, too, which is how I got paint on my jeans. Little weasel.