I really want to be a runner. It looks calming. It looks healthy. When I get home from a walk, I look mildly invigorated, but when people finish a run they look like they've really accomplished something (evidenced by the sweat coursing down their bodies). And I always imagine that if I were a runner, I would be less susceptible to the Rage Cycle of the Librarian. I imagine that if I were a runner, I wouldn't plot the assassination of problem patrons. And in the grocery store when I see Beautiful Shallow People selecting cheese, and they take the cheese they've decided not to purchase and toss it into the meat section, because they're too lazy to reach their arms the one foot to hang the bag of cheese back on the cheese rack, it wouldn't make my blood pressure rise and I wouldn't clinch my fists and consider grabbing the girl by her Barbie hair and beating her with a frozen pizza. No, if I were a runner, poor grocery store cheese etiquette would not enrage me. I would have a runner's inner Zen-like calm. My rage would dissipate through my healthy, physical exertion.
For all of these reasons, every few years I decide to take up running, and every few years I remember that I HATE to run. My brain bounces around in my head in a way that I'm certain isn't good for me. I feel like I'm giving myself a concussion from the inside when I run. This is the year that I would normally try running again, but I KNOW my efforts will fail, so I'm looking for running alternatives. Any ideas?
8 comments:
If I was being chased by a bear or a murderer, I would not run. It is horrible.
um, anger management?
Biking. It's really fun. :) And as a runner, I can tell you that the urge to smash frozen pizzas over silly people who not only have perfect hair but also don't understand that if you don't want that perishable object you should put it somewhere other than in front of Patrick whats-his-name on the magazine shelf NEVER goes away. Even when you're running all the time.
I agree with Chou. Biking is really fun. I pretty much do this inside during a spinning class and let me tell you you will feel and look as if you have accomplished something by the end of a class. Doing it outside, though, gives the benefit of nature--very calming.
If you're looking for some form of actual exercise, I can't help you.
But I highly recommend knitting for stress relief--unless you're working with six different balls of yarn at once. Then you might have even stronger violent urges in the grocery store.
Yoga is very calming. And it is good for your muscles, and joints and tendons. Maybe you need chocolate. Mom
stretching, it all about stretching. not yoga stretching, which really stresses me out (not the effect yoga is supposed to have) because I am not very limber, but nothing feels better than a good stretching routine in the privacy of my own home away from the people who contort their bodies in ways that I don't think they are supposed to be able to. Stretching gets the blood pumping through those muscles that tense up when you are in the grocery store wanting to brain somebody with a frozen pizza.
Eliana--Too true.
Rebekah--You may have a point. I really wanted to clobber that cheese girl.
Chou and Yankee Girl--I will absolutely try biking.
Emily--I was just thinking that I should try knitting again! I really need to learn to follow a pattern.
Mom--I thought I needed chocolate too, which is why I made my fantastic cream cheese brownies Monday (half batch). They are now all gone. I think what I need that won't cause my jeans to be tight is to go see Michael Sharon and Patrick Page perform with the Shakespeare Theatre Company in 4 weeks. Whee!
Kirsten--I will try stretching. A little while ago I actually found a yoga DVD I like--Yoga for Inflexible People--because I'm not bendy either.
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