Texas Part 1 - What I Learned in Texas

I'm back from my four days of Texas fun. My friend The Supreme Coordinatrix is doing research in Austin, so I flew out to visit her and to go see our mutual friend in San Antonio.

What I Learned in Texas:

1. Texans love tattoos. I've never seen so many tattooed people in one place at one time. This morning a woman offered to give me one on the River Walk.

2. When people tell you the capitol building in Austin is pink, do not expect PINK. Expect pinkish.

It's still pretty, but I was hoping for flamingo pink.

3. I like cowboys. And cowboy wallpaper. Tuey and I are going to start having talks about this. The next word in Tuey's vocabulary? Vaquero.

4. The conquistadors who first came to Texas from Spain attempted to domesticate the buffalo. Clearly, they failed. I wish they'd domesticated the armadillo. I want one.

5. There is a reason the wilderness park recommends that you drop the animal food on the ground rather than letting the animals eat out of your hand.

Zebras and ostriches are aggressive. Emus are straight up wicked.

6. Shakespeare's The Tempest works pretty well as a space opera. We saw such a production at the botanical gardens (a perfect location for Shakespeare in the park, by the way) in San Antonio. I almost punched a woman sitting near me in the throat for first smoking through half the performance and then answering her cell phone and having a conversation in the middle of the play. True, we were outside, but she was still the middle of an audience watching a play! Grrrr.

7. Do NOT wear jeans in Texas at the end of May. Even if it's snowing in Utah when you board the plane to Austin and you're wearing a sweater and a jacket, pack the capri pants. Even in summer pants, you'll wish you could walk around naked. 98 degrees and humidity is ridiculously hot.