I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror in the mall last week (the library's in the mall, otherwise I wouldn't go in there because it's dark and mall-like and I think all those new letting-fish-nibble-bits-off-your-feet shops are creepy and there isn't even a Thornton's or a Mrs. Field's or something to make it more palatable, although I can buy cheap frozen fish there, but I think that's kind of wrong too). I caught a glimpse of myself and I thought, "Who has been dressing you in the mornings? A blind misogynist?" I walked over to Steve's office and asked him why he let me leave the house looking like this, but he didn't know what I was talking about. He thought I looked fine. That's because he personally thinks it's okay to wear silk-screened wolf sweatshirts and believes I look fetching all the time (good on him for that last bit).
I didn't look fine, though. A friend gave me all her maternity clothes, which was very nice of her since I have no desire to pay for expensive clothes that I will wear for four months. It's tricky to even find maternity clothes in our city, despite the fact that it has the highest teen pregnancy rate in Scotland (shouldn't that create a demand for maternity jeans?). As far as I can tell, none of the high street shops stock maternity clothes; they have to be ordered online. And the specialty maternity stores are PRICEY. So I'm very happy to have my free wardrobe, but the woman who originally bought the clothing is a bit taller and a bit thinner than I am and she's Swedish which leads me to believe that she can get away with certain fashion decisions that I canNOT as a short, stocky American.
I decided that I could fix my wardrobe with some hemming and layering, but I only got through half of one cuff on one pair of trousers, before I found the intrigue on the newest episode of MI-5 too riveting to sew. And then when MI-5 was over, some little baby was kicking me, which I interpreted as a request to eat ice cream, which is just the kind of decision that's going to make this whole wardrobe issue that much worse.
I suppose it's not SO bad to look homeless while pregnant.
6 comments:
There are places in the mall where fish eat your feet? I don't think that craze has caught on in the states yet.
Maybe the lack of places to buy maternity clothes is meant to discourage the teen pregnancies?
And frozen fish in the mall sounds gross.
No THORNTON'S??? That is just wrong.
Oh, the joys of having children. My wardrobe has never been the same since I started having children (and quit my day job). Lament, Lament, Lament
E--Really? I think we have at least 3 of them. You go and sit with your feet in a tank full of fish. They're called things like Piranha Pedi. It's supposed to make your feet very soft.
Ldsjaneite--Actually, it's not so bad. It's just a big frozen food store (called Iceland). It IS strange, I think, that it's in a mall.
Apple Pie--Yes, I've been debating if I should even keep my old professional wardrobe. I imagine by the time I try to get back in it, it won't fit and will be out of style.
I am so creeped out by the idea of those fish. People PAY to have their toes nibbled?
My preferred look while pregnant was beached whale, but my friends having babies these days don't even buy maternity clothes. They buy cute little numbers from Anthropologie and belt them above the belly. I hope it doesn't reflect poorly on the state of my immortal soul if I say that a (not small) part of me hopes they get too enormous to look adorable in a few months.
What I truly hate is low-rise jeans below a pregnant belly. Almost as creepy as toe-nibbling fish.
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