27 February 2015

Games I Have Been Forced to Play Today

With The Bairn:

"Mom, you be Buzz and I'll be Woodland." (You know, from Toy Story.)  This involves insisting I can fly while The Bairn tells me I can't, agreeing to (pretend to) fly over the truck and into the car ahead while driving, and calling The Bairn Woodland while I instruct him to put on his coat, get in the car, etc.  If I forget to call him Woodland, he doesn't respond.

The Moon is Made of Cheese.  Rules:  The Bairn asks, "Is the moon made of cheese?" and I respond, "What?!  No!  You're teasing me!"  Repeat 11 thousand times.

Knock Down the Fence.  The Bairn sets up some frontier logs in a row and then crashes a tractor into them.  My job is to watch intently from the couch, and shout, "Oh no!  Don't knock down the fence!"  Repeat.

Dinosaur Mom.  The Bairn calls me "Steggie" because I'm a stegosaurus.  He asks me why I have spikes on my back a lot and I come up with answers.  Sometimes my answers are not good enough and I have to come up with better ones.  This is more like our everyday reality, so I don't know if it counts as a game.  It's only suspended when we're playing a different game.

With Ellen:

Poor Blind Baby.  Rules: Ellen walks around with her eyes closed and her arms out until she runs into me.  I tickle her.  Ellen walks around with her eyes closed and her arms out until Steve says, "My poor blind baby."  Ellen laughs like a crazy person.

Water in a Cup.  Ellen insists on receiving water in a cup.  I give it to her even though I know she won't drink it.  She pours it over a recipe she finds and then tears the wet paper into tiny pieces.  I ignore her because I'm writing a blog post.  When I ask her to clean up, she picks up the papers and puts them in the trash, because she's the best.

Private Time.  I try to use the bathroom by myself.  Ellen stands next to me and demands, "Pen'uin," while pointing at a book of penguins.   We go to the couch and read.

With Old People:  

I struggle to get kids who are bundled up in coats and hats in and out of shopping carts/stores/libraries.  Old people chuckle and say, "You've got your hands full."  If the old people are really good at the game, they add, "Can I take this one home with me?"  Ha ha.  It's a funny game.

1 comment:

eliana23 said...

poor blind baby pushed me over the edge. Thanks for the sadly realistic post.

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