I borrowed my sister's push mower (non-gas powered, MBC powered) over the weekend and mowed my lawn. The neighborhood was not prepared for this. Everyone who walked by felt the need to comment. A little boy next door came over to stare and kept calling to his dad, "What's she doing? What is that thing?" The dad would then explain that it was a lawn mower even though it didn't look like THEIR lawn mower, because it wasn't gas-powered. Maybe it was my imagination, but it sounded like he said this a little smugly, like he felt bad for me and my lawn mower. Apparently he didn't realize that there's a gas-powered mower in my shed, but I wasn't using it on account of being so busy SAVING THE WORLD with my sister's mower. I imagine that then the dad called to his son, "Come on, boy. Get in the Hummer. We have to go get some more puppies to use as fuel to power our slave ship." Or something like that.
I also didn't use the mower in my shed because I'm a little bit scared of it. It smells like gasoline and I anticipate that it might blow up if I turn it on. Then it might possibly cut off one of my limbs. (I SAW that Oprah where the woman was mowing her lawn and the blade snapped off and stabbed her in the chest and she only survived because she was wearing a bra with gel inserts that slowed down the metal death projectile. I don't have a bra like that.) So what else could I do, really?
8 comments:
LOVE the new title. It's just so MBC. You also win my award for best blog updater.
There were so many great suggestions for titles (I especially like Alyssa's suggestion of something with Moxie), but the Emily Dickinson quote seemed most appropriate.
I am laughing so hard at "Get in the hummer boy!...etc." Oh, MBC, I can always count on you and your wonderful blog to brighten up my day! :)
I think we should have some sort of competition involving our blogs. So many people read yours and not mine. Maybe mine just sucks, but I do have to say that my current post is wonderfully written. Maybe it is just hard for me to admit that you might be a better writer than I am. I have a hard time admitting stuff like that. I am going to use your space right here to advertise my blog though.
Everybody: You really should check out my blog. It is nice and has soothing colors. It also has humorous pictures on occasion. You can find my blog at: softballalice.blogspot.com
There is no fee for visiting, or for leaving comments. My blog is very sad that it isn't read very much, make it feel better! Happy reading!
Thanks,
Alice
MBC, you slay me, seriously. I am rolling on the ground at the reference desk. The person I am reading with asked if you have an RSS feed on you blog. She has added your blog to her librarian blog folder. She says she needs light, funny moments during the day and will read your blog to find them. Keep entertaining us.
OK OK OK so MBC is funny, ha ha ha and all, but let me just remind any readers that it is TRUE that using a gas mower for just one hour is the same in global destruction as driving a car 26000 miles. So get out of those Hummers, leave the puppies alone, and mow your lawns with a people-powered (or MBC-powered--I hear she does house calls) machine. (OK I'm just smug that we don't spend all our spare time polluting the air and cutting off appendages like all our neighbors.)
The lawn-mowing queen sister
p.s. bring back the mower
Sister o' mine--I was going to bring it back today, but then I had the Bad Morning (see my next post). And don't use my name. Do you want to out me to my patrons?
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