Health

Today I attended the city health fair to have my BMI calculated and my blood pressure taken and my glucose and cholesterol checked. My blood pressure was a little high. The nurse asked if I was relaxed. I said yes, because I do that when asked any question. But then I thought, No, I'm not relaxed! I just came from the reference desk, I have nightmares about my lawn, and being the RS pres. gives me a headache.

The big problem with my health screening, though, came about at the Glucose Station. I sat down and the Blood Taker told me I was the first woman she'd seen all day. Interesting. The woman started prepping my arm to take blood. I thought this was very odd as the person at the next table was just getting her finger pricked. I figured, though, that if someone had given the Blood Taker Woman the equipment to suck blood out of my arm, she was probably qualified to do so. She took a whole big vial of my blood and then it went down like this:

Blood Taker: Oh, do you have your receipt for payment?

MBC: Was I supposed to pay for this? (I was pretty certain all my services were supposed to be free.)

Blood Taker: Oh yes. Go over and pay at the cashier's office.

MBC: What should I tell them I'm paying for?

This is the point at which a nurse heard us talking and jumped in. She looked at my paperwork. She crossed something out. She shook her head.

Nurse: You don't have to pay for anything. We're just using your blood to test your cholesterol and glucose. (Turning to the Blood Taker) There's only a charge for the prostate screening. (pause) She doesn't have a prostate.

That's right I don't have a prostate! And I'm glad too. And I promise never to mention prostates on the blog again.