Why I'm Not a Teacher

I'm not sure how I survived 12 years of public school. I've been visiting local schools to give a big The Library is Your Friend (most of the time, except when you bug us) presentation at staff meetings. As soon as I walk in the school buildings, I lose my will to live. I bring my boss with me when I present, just so I don't turn around and walk out before presenting. Also, to protect me from the roving bands of Mean Girls. I particularly dislike presenting when there are lots of middle-aged male coaches who get along with their arrogant adolescent jocks by being similarly obnoxious as adults in the meeting. They are not my people. And I don't like talking to the office staff. They think I'm a student. But I'm not! I escaped high school. Hallelujah.