I'm sure you're all excellent grammarians and never make grammar errors, but I've been watching TV, where no one who finds him/herself in front of a camera, apparently, ever paid one bit of attention in English class. Sooo, I've created a sorry excuse for an equation (TWO equations) to demonstrate the most important rule of grammar (already partially explained here because this must never been done; if you do this, stop it at once).
Here we go.
(Write it down.)
x=pronoun
y=verb
z=preposition
if x1+y=INCORRECT then (x1 and x2)+y=INCORRECT
Here's an example to bring this delightful equation to life.
INCORRECT
Her and Jebediah danced.
BECAUSE
if Her danced=INCORRECT then Her and Jebediah danced=INCORRECT
CORRECT
She and Jebediah danced. (She danced.)
Because most people are corrected when making this mistake, the more common problem is with prepositions, demonstrated with this equation.
if z+x2=INCORRECT then z+(x1 and x2)=INCORRECT
INCORRECT
This kangaroo is for Keith and I.
BECAUSE
if This kangaroo is for I=INCORRECT then This kangaroo is for Keith and I=INCORRECT
CORRECT
This kangaroo is for Keith and me. (This kangaroo is for me.)
Here's a tricky one.
INCORRECT
This is between you and I.
BECAUSE
we=you and I
us=you and me
if This is between we=INCORRECT then This is between you and I=INCORRECT
CORRECT
This is between you and me. (This is between us.)
Now if you ever meet someone about to appear on TV, you can teach him these handy equations and save him from sounding unsmart.
And if you actually use math/science, maybe you can create better equations.
And let's not talk about punctuation. I am impervious to punctuation instruction.
6 comments:
Some people at work once thought they had caught me in a grammatical snare because I sent out an email that said "Join me and Billy Bob for birthday treats." If only I could have shown them the equation.
Huge pet peeve of mine. And it is done ALL THE TIME.
Despite your claim to imperviousness, I recommend Lynne Truss's book Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation. It is highly entertaining, and helps one to know whether one is dealing with a gangster or a giant panda.
Ha ha--great equations and examples. What's said is how my editing professor taught me that others err on the side of high-falutin'ism and try to sound more uppity. Hence the "kangaroo is for I." They actually think that sounds better! Eek.
I may use this in my classes
Whew. I passed your tests. I get annoyed for the same reason. However, I give my blog special rules because it is written in stream of consciousness style. Do you think I need a disclaimer at the top of it saying that I know the proper grammar rules, but reserve the right not to obey them?
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