29 March 2012

The Nipple Post

I heard that Starbucks changed their little mermaid symbol to be nipple-less, because nipples are not The Thing in polite society.  Personally, my nipples are getting a lot of public exposure these days.  My friend Moo sewed me a really nice breastfeeding shield, which I like because it's made of material with a pretty pattern and it's designed so that I can look down and see The Bairn while he eats, but I'm pretty rubbish at using it.  The baby doesn't like having something over his head and I have a hard time helping him when we're both covered up.  Sometimes I use it, but more often we just eat in public and figure everyone else should avert their eyes if they're offended by a baby drinking milk (and while they're at it, they should also stop wearing those ridiculous cut off shorts with the black stockings, which offend ME and my aesthetic sense).

The Bairn has decided he's starving to death and must eat immediately in the US consulate lobby (a location without a restroom or nursing lounge), on a moving city bus, and on an air plane while sitting next to a stranger.  When this happens, I let him eat.  I try to be discreet, but occasionally he suddenly stops eating in order to throw his head back and yell or to tell a little baby joke and chuckle for a moment before carrying on, which results in a bit of immodesty on my part. 

My brother-in-law expressed some concern that I might want privacy while feeding the baby, but after giving birth and having students come in to watch my fascinating post-birth surgical procedure, I feel fairly relaxed about my body and who sees it.  He's just a baby and it's just a breast.

*We're still on the road to Canada.  If I'm not responding to your comments, it's because we don't have Internet access.  I wrote this last week and scheduled it to post today.


Theresa said...

You are my hero!!!!!!! :D Love this post. My mom would love it too. She thinks exactly the same as you.

Anonymous said...

Great post and you are right the baby is hungry, he will cry and assault on your ears. You can always avert your eyes not so with your ears. Good on you.


eliana23 said...

After giving birth, breast feeding seems so mellow. You will get smoother as time goes on but dude, babies need to eat. You rock.

Rebekah said...

But when did you write that little postscript? Last week, or today? Mind blown!

Nipples and time travel, my two favorite things.

Kirsten said...

You are in good company:


Loo said...

Moo's sister here. I have a lovely cover such as she made you. I does seem to work better than a blanket for me. As the baby gets older, they get even better at moving it out of the way! I usually take it along when I'm with my husband to make him happy. When he's not with me, it's amazing how often I forget it.

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