29 September 2013

In Which I Become an Over-the-Pulpit Weeper

Today The Bairn and I were both full of All The Emotions at church.  This is not so unusual for The Bairn but it's not my normal M.O.

Today was the Primary Presentation at church and I am the Primary president.  The Primary Presentation is great because no matter how well or how badly it actually goes, it's good.  We were unexpectedly missing three children today so I was making changes to speaking parts during the program and one of my 5-year-olds informed me, as she was at the pulpit, that she needed to add a sentence or two about how she likes to watch TV with her parents to her part, but it was all fine.  There's no way to dislike the Primary Presentation.

This year and last year, I was the concluding speaker to the program and this year I found myself in front of the congregation completely choked up and unable to speak for several minutes while I dabbed my eyes with tissues and said things like, "Sorry, I never cry when I speak" and "I'm just so proud of them" while I thought to myself, "Ah, so this is how you become that person."

But here's the thing. 
1.  Man, unless you're made of stone, the song A Child's Prayer sung by children you know and love and adults you know and love together will break you.

2. I invited two people to the presentation this year.  Both of them are women I really like who have rather severe health problems and hadn't been out to church in many months.  Even though it's not hard to send a card, it took me two weeks to actually dig cards out, write notes, find stamps, and drop the envelopes in the mailbox.  Both women came to church today. 

I sent one of them a blank card that my friend Eliana gave me 15 years ago.  It had a quote on the front that I like and I kept it all these years and would occasionally pull it out and think, "I like this quote.  I like Eliana" and then put it back.  But I sent it to Kathy and when she found me today before church she had it in her hand and said, "This card meant so much to me" and I thought, "I can do small things that are big" and because I am the parent of a toddler and I never feel like I get anything accomplished or do anything big, it was significant to me.

3.  I am pregnant.

4.  The Bairn wore a sweater vest to church today and looked like the Platonic Ideal of Darling Toddlers so I was all full of Mother Love, especially since I was on the stand and not wrestling with him down in the congregation.

Next year I won't be pregnant for the presentation we'll be back to the non-weeping.


eliana23 said...

Every part of this post is good. I cry all the time in real life but rarely at church, so I feel your pain. Need a picture of Platonic Ideal of Toddler, perhaps holding a new sibling.

Anonymous said...

Next year, maybe not, but the following year you'll weep because the Bairn will be in the presentation.


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